Stories/ 子不语/ Not Every God Was Virtuous

Not Every God Was Virtuous

成神不必賢人

SourceZibuyu (What the Master Would Not Discuss)
AuthorYuan Mei
EraQing dynasty · from Zibuyu, late 18th century
Written1788
DeitySatireImpostorAfterlife
A village opera stage at dusk where a ghost in fine array stands triumphant before a toppled red-faced god statue amid flying sand and stone, ink-wash painting
Illustration generated by AI, based on the ancient Chinese text.

The licentiate Li Haizhong, going to the capital for the autumn examinations, hired a duck-billed boat at Suzhou. As they reached the Huai, a Wang came to the bow and asked to share the passage; he was an old neighbour, so they travelled together.

In the evening Wang asked with a smile: “Are you a bold man?” The licentiate was taken aback and answered vaguely: “Bold enough.” Wang said: “I feared you might take fright, which is why I asked about your courage. Since you are bold, I must tell you the truth. I am not a man but a ghost. I parted from you six years ago; the year before last, in a bad harvest, pressed by cold and hunger, I dug up a grave and stole its wealth, was arrested and convicted, and have already been beheaded. As a ghost I am still cold and hungry, and so I go to the capital to collect a debt, relying on you to beg a passage.”

Li asked: “Whose debt do you go to collect?” He said: “A certain Wang. He was a clerk in the Ministry of Justice and promised that when the death sentence reached the ministry he would remand it for a lesser penalty, for which he was given five hundred taels. Little did he expect he would give no help at all, and in the end could not save my life — so I go to haunt him.” This Wang was a kinsman of Li’s.

Li was greatly alarmed and reasoned with him: “Your crime deserved death; the ministry’s deliberation was not unjust. Cousin Wang should not have cheated you of your money; I will take you there, explain the whole, and get him to return it, to dissolve this enmity. But you are dead — what use is silver to you?” Wang said: “Though I have no use, I still have a wife and children at home, who live next to you. Once I have collected, you may pay it to them on my behalf.” Li assented.

A few days on, near the capital, Wang asked to go ahead: “I will go first to your kinsman’s house and haunt him, so that when he has no way to seek relief, you may go and speak for him, and only then will he listen. Otherwise, being a greedy man, he will not heed you though you speak.” With that he vanished.

Li found lodgings in the city; three days later he went to the Wang house, and sure enough Wang had fallen into a frenzy, and the whole family sought gods and divination to no effect. As Li reached the gate the sick man said in a waking voice: “Your family’s salvation is come!” The family hurried to welcome and ask Li, and Li told them the whole. Wang’s wife first meant to burn tens of thousands of paper coins in payment, but the sick man laughed loudly: “To repay real coin with false coin — there is no such bargain under heaven! Quickly count out five hundred taels and hand them to Master Li, and I will spare you.” The family did so, and Wang’s sickness indeed lifted.

A few days later the ghost came to Li’s to urge their return together; Li refused, saying: “I have not yet sat the examination.” The ghost said: “You will not pass; there is no need to sit it.” Li would not listen. After the three sessions the ghost urged return again. Li said: “I wait for the list.” The ghost said: “You will not pass; there is no need to wait for the list.” The list came out and his name was not on it; the ghost came and laughed: “May you return now?” Li, ashamed and dispirited, set out that very day.

The ghost travelled with him in the boat; all food and drink he only sniffed and did not swallow, and what he sniffed, though hot, turned cold at once.

As they reached Suqian the ghost said: “A certain village is staging opera; shall we go and watch?” Li went with him to the foot of the stage. After a few scenes the ghost suddenly vanished, and there was only the sound of flying sand and hurled stone; Li went back to the boat and waited. As the sky darkened the ghost arrived in fine array and said: “I shall not return. I am here to be the Emperor Guan.” Li was aghast: “How dare you be the Emperor Guan?” He said: “The Guanyin and the Emperor Guan in this world are all ghosts impersonating them. The opera the other day was the discharge of a vow to the Guan god. The Guan god to whom the vow was discharged was even more of a rogue than I, and so I flew into a rage, fought him and drove him out. Did you not hear the sound of flying sand and stone?” With that he bowed his thanks and went. Li carried the five hundred taels and paid them to his wife and children.

Original classical Chinese text · 原文

李海仲秀才,秋試京師,在蘇州僱鴨嘴船。行至淮上,見艙前來王某求附舟,舊時鄰也,因與同行。洎晚,王笑問:「君膽大否?」秀才愕然,漫應曰:「大。」王曰:「懼君生畏,故以膽問。君既膽大,我不得不以實告。我非人,乃鬼也。我別君六年矣,前年歲荒,為飢寒所迫,掘墳盜財,被捕拿獲罪,已斬決。今作鬼依舊飢寒,故往京中索逋,仗君乞帶。」李問:「往索何人之債?」曰:「汪某。渠作刑部司官,許擬斬文書到部時為駁減等,故饋以五百金。不料渠全無照應,終不能保全性命,故往祟之。」汪某者,李戚也。李大駭,曉之曰:「汝罪宜誅,部議不枉,汪舍親不應騙汝財物,我帶汝往,說明原委,令渠還汝,以解此仇可也。但汝已死,要銀何用?」王曰:「我雖無用,尚有妻子在家,居與君鄰。我索得後,可代我付之。」李唯唯。又數日,將到京師,王請先行,曰:「我且到令親處作祟,令渠求救無方,君再往說之,方肯聽君。否則渠係貪財之人,君雖有言,渠不聽也。」言畢不見。李入都覓寓,遲三日,往汪家,汪果得風狂之病,舉家求神問卜,毫無效驗。李方至門,病人口語曰:「汝家救星到矣!」家人爭迎問李,李告以原委。汪妻初意要燒紙錢數萬為償,病人大笑曰:「以假錢還真錢,天下無此便宜之事!速兌五百金交李老爺,我便饒你。」其家如其言,汪病果愈。又數日,來李處催與同歸,李不肯,曰:「我未下場。」鬼曰:「君不中,不必下場也。」李不聽。畢三場後,鬼又催歸。李曰:「我要等榜。」鬼曰:「君不中,不必等榜也。」榜發無名,鬼來笑曰:「君此時可以歸乎?」李慚沮,即日起身。鬼與同船,一切飲食,嗅而不吞,熱物被嗅,登時冷矣。行至宿遷,鬼曰:「某村唱戲,盍往觀乎?」李同至戲臺下。看數出,鬼忽不見,但聞飛沙走石之聲,李回船待之。天將黑,鬼盛服而來曰:「我不歸矣,我在此做關帝矣。」李大駭曰:「汝何敢做關帝?」曰:「世上觀音、關帝,皆鬼冒充。前日村中之戲,還關神願也。所還願之關神,比我更無賴,我故大怒,與決戰而逐之。君獨不聞飛沙走石之聲乎?」言畢拜謝而去。李替帶五百金付其妻子。

From 《成神不必賢人》, Zibuyu. Translated in full. 鴨嘴船 is a 'duck-billed' shallow boat, broad at the bow; 斬決 is beheading, the penalty for grave-robbery in famine; 刑部司官 is a clerk in the Ministry of Justice; 風狂 is a frenzy or possession-illness; 下場 is to sit the examination; 關帝 is the deified general Guan Yu, the God of War; 宿遷 is Suqian in Jiangsu; the title 成神不必賢人 means 'to become a god one need not be a worthy man.'

Source. From Zibuyu (What the Master Would Not Discuss) (子不语), by Yuan Mei , 1788. The original text is in the public domain; this English rendering and the accompanying notes are original work.
Where this fits in the universe: Ghosts · The Small Gods · How a God Gets a Post

Keep Reading

Related Stories

Southern Song dynasty · 12th century · 夷坚志

The Goddess Who Bought the Woods

林夫人廟

A timber merchant offers a tenth of the asking price for a stand of trees and is laughed out of the yard. That night a storm fells the whole grove, the money is found stacked in the courtyard, and every remaining trunk has three characters cut into the bark. A rich man who gives too little cannot get his cash out of his own gate.

Small GodsDeityMoney
Southern Song dynasty · 1167, the third year of Qiandao · 夷坚志

The Land God of Jianju Abbey

簡寂觀土地

A generous man dies and is appointed earth god of a Taoist abbey. A year later he comes to his father in a dream with a complaint: the roof leaks, the rain runs down his face, his whole body is soaked, and nobody repairs the shrine. His father and his son dream it separately, compare notes, go and look — and rebuild it.

Small GodsDeityJustice
Text of the Warring States period · c. 4th–3rd century BCE · 山海经·北山经

Jingwei Fills the Sea

精卫填海

The youngest daughter of the Flame Emperor drowns in the Eastern Sea. She returns as a small bird, and begins — twig by twig, pebble by pebble, forever — to fill the sea that killed her.

DeityMonsterTransformation