Stories/ 谐铎/ The Ghost Brothel

The Ghost Brothel

鬼嫖

SourceXieduo (Harmonious Warnings)
AuthorShen Qifeng
EraQing dynasty · Qianlong era, c. 1736–1798
Writtenc. 1790
GhostSatireHorror
A traveller peers into a mat-shed where sleeping men embrace red-haired demons while an old crone holds a copper tube, ink-wash painting
Illustration generated by AI, based on the ancient Chinese text.

My fifth brother Zhisheng took first place on the provincial list in the year guimao. In the year dingwei he went north with the other candidates for the metropolitan examination, and one night put up at the posting-inn at Fuzhuangyi. It was full, so he borrowed lodging in the village.

The moon soaked through the torn curtain and the wind rattled the broken paper, and he could not sleep for lying there. He got up and walked into the front court, and turned through into the building behind, where he found a waste garden three mu across. Under a tree, a woman with bald temples was hobbling about, saying in a loud voice:

“The wind and moon are fine tonight. Among the travellers there are surely boys wanting a green-tower dream. Call them in!”

Presently a flock of beauties gathered. The old woman put on a show of anger.

“You sit in your rooms all day gambling at dice and cracking melon seeds — so spoilt and idle. Is your mother to live the long day on morning dew?”

They murmured and obeyed. She whispered in their ears for a long while, and then they all beckoned with their hands toward the south-east corner.

Before long the guests arrived — merchants’ dress, scholars’ caps, of every sort. A five-coloured felt was spread and they sat in a ring on the ground; the woman bustled to and fro laying out dishes and provisions, as though she had them stored ready. Then the wine wound down and the talk and laughter grew tired too. The old woman clapped her hands, laughing:

“The window candle is ash! The magpie bridge over the Silver River is built. Silly bull, fool girl — still sitting facing one another?”

They all rose. She led the way with a candle, and the beauties swept the guests off with them into a mat-shed.

Zhisheng, who had always prided himself on his nerve, stole over to look.

Inside, some dozens of bamboo couches were set out, and on each a guest lay with a yaksha in his arms. Snoring rose on every side; red hair lay against shoulders, blood-dark lips passed to mouths; here and there a man had pillowed a ghost-face on his arm and was murmuring endearments in his sleep.

Even as he stood appalled, an old yaksha came with a copper tube some seven inches long and thrust it into the back of a guest’s skull, making a low humming, breathing sound. She worked her way along several couches, and came at last to one, and said:

“This one has no brain. And his whole body gives off a sour stink. He quite makes me want to vomit.”

She rubbed his eyes and dragged him down off the couch.

Zhisheng slapped the railing and shouted: “There is a burly fellow outside this door — how dare you carry on so, old she-demon?”

There was an outcry: “The new honoured gentleman has arrived!” — and in the turning of an eye they were all gone.

He waited for daylight, mounted, and went on his way. At the posting-inn every guest was crying out with pain in the head. Among them was one whose eyes were swollen like peaches. Asked about him, they said he was a licentiate who had bought a place in the College and was going up to the capital to angle for a post in the copying office. Zhisheng smiled quietly to himself, and in that session he passed in the south palace.

The Duo comment: A rouge-knife that cuts to the bone, a flower-arrow gathered at the heart — one stretch of pleasure-ground is a bath in the soup of the fierce raksasas! If you do not turn your head early, I fear the one who bores into your skull will come to you.

Original classical Chinese text · 原文

五弟芷生,癸卯登贤书第一。丁未岁,计偕北上,夜投富庄驿旅舍。客满,借宿村庄。时月浸破帘,风鸣败纸,伏枕不能成寐。起步前庭,转入后舍,见荒园广可三亩。有秃鬓妪,蹒跚树下,高语曰:“今夜风月颇佳,客中儿必有作青楼梦者,盍召之来!”己而群艳坌集。妪作微怒曰:“汝等日坐闺中,赌樗蒲,嗑瓜子,长恁娇惰,尔娘喝朝露度长日耶?”群唯唯听命。妪附耳久之,群向东南角招以手。亡何,众客至,商服儒冠,不一其类。铺五色毡,席地团坐。姬往来蹀躞,陈肴列馔,似储待者。继而酒阑,笑语亦渐倦。妪鼓掌笑曰:“窗烛灰矣!银河鹊桥已驾,痴牛騃女,犹相对作闲坐哉?”众尽起。妪导以烛,群艳拥客转入一草席去。 芷生素负胆力,潜往瞰之。见中设数十竹榻,众客各抱一夜叉卧,鼻声四起,朱发偎肩,血唇递舌,间有枕鬼面于臂,而梦中喃喃作娇唤者。正惊骇间,一老夜叉手持铜管,约长七寸许,向客脑后插之,呜呜作呼吸声。扪搎几遍,末至一客,曰:“是无脑者。且遍体酸中作臭气,令人殊欲呕。”揉其目,曳于床下。芷生拍槛大呼曰:“门外有莽汉,老魅何敢尔?”众哗然曰:“新贵人至矣!”转瞬尽散。 候天晓,登车就道。见富庄驿诸宿客,尽呼脑痛。中有一人,目瘇如桃。询之,以秀才纳监,入都谋上誊录馆者。芷生微哂之,是科捷南宫。 铎曰:“脂刀截骨,花箭攒心,一片欢场,即狠罗刹汤沐浴也!不早回头,恐盬其脑者至矣!”

From 《鬼嫖》, Xieduo. Shen's own brother watches a ghost brothel serve the travellers at an inn, and sees what they are embracing.

Source. From Xieduo (Harmonious Warnings) (谐铎), by Shen Qifeng , c. 1790. The original text is in the public domain; this English rendering and the accompanying notes are original work.

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