A certain magistrate, base and vulgar, had served twelve years with no merit at all, reckoning only the currying of favour with superiors as his policy. A fellow townsman of his became Provincial Governor. The magistrate went to pay his respects; when announced, the fellow officials were all present. At the gate the magistrate called his own name, crawled on his knees to the hall, and kowtowed by the hundreds, his forehead lumping up like huge eggs. When done, from his sleeve he produced gold and pearls, secretly placed them under the seat, and lay prostrate, not rising.
The Governor showed anger. The magistrate, looking up, said: “Your excellency is my father; I am your son; where I fall short, instruct me.”
The Governor grew more angry: “You deceive me too much!” He threw the gold and pearls to the ground and ordered him away. Colleagues mediated.
The Governor said: “You do not know — he is not fawning, he is mocking me!” They did not understand. He said: “He and I are townsmen; I have long known his henpecked habit. Every morning he sets out the court robe outside the bedroom door and kowtows to ask good-morning. After washing, he crawls to the toilet-case and kowtows on the ground by the hundreds, sound like a clapper, then produces gold and pearls as hairpins and earrings. If the slightest displeasure, he presents a staff with both hands and cries ‘I beg the lady’s instruction’ — only then, trembling, does he leave. Seeing the scene just now, it was exactly similar — he was using his wife’s script to mock me! How can one not be furious?” They all changed colour.
The Governor smiled: “You all perhaps have this habit too? From now, tighten the husband’s authority; do not invite official censure. The art of currying favour is just what gets you shamed.” They assented and withdrew.
The Duo comment: The curtain’s regulations were rehearsed in the public hall; no wonder seeking honour backfires. Formerly Huan Fan knelt as a duke to his wife yet would not bend for Lü Gong. People said he had a proud bone; I say he had a sense of shame.
