Stories/ 谐铎/ Top of the List by Accident

Top of the List by Accident

泄气生员

SourceXieduo (The Bell of Warning)
AuthorShen Qifeng
EraQing dynasty · Qianlong era, c. 1760–1800
Writtenc. 1790
OfficialdomSatireFateMoney
A shabby candidate in a patched gown walks out through the gates of an examination compound under the stares of a crowd, while in a distant hall an official bows to an elderly minister who has just shifted in his seat
Illustration generated by AI, based on the ancient Chinese text.

Master Xia of Lintong, whose name was Qitong, was a man of dull nature who studied for the examinations. Every piece he turned out, the crowd would hoot at.

Once he sat the boys’ examination, plagiarised an old essay, and got into the county school. Afterwards he went to the annual examination, and privately judged himself certain of the bottom grade. In the market he met a diviner and had him cast for him, and got a prognostication:

Listen to it and there is no sound; look at it and there is no form. The gentleman casts for it, and surely gets its name.

The diviner raised his hands and congratulated him: “Your writing will certainly come first.”

Xia was delighted, and proclaimed it to everybody. The crowd said: “Even if the examination commissioner were blind in both eyes, he would know stink from fragrance by touch alone. Below the third grade, you might have hopes of coming first.”

Xia was deeply ashamed.

At that time a certain lord was commissioner, appointed to supervise learning in Xi’an. On the point of setting out, he took leave of his patron, a certain minister. The minister was a man of Xi’an, and he thought the commissioner meant to ask a favour for his own people, and pressed him hard for instructions.

The minister, whose temper was somewhat low, happened to let off wind, and rose a little from his seat. The commissioner, suspecting there was some charge he meant to give, pressed him urgently.

The minister said: “Nothing — it is only that my wind has passed.”

The commissioner assented, thinking that “Xia Qitong” must be a man in the minister’s confidence, and noted it carefully.

Afterwards, when the lord arrived in Xi’an to conduct the examination, there was indeed a scholar named Xia Qitong.

After the compound was locked and the papers read, he went through his closely: the wording and the sense were absurd, truly enough to make a man hold his belly. But because of his patron’s earnest charge, there was nothing for it but to force favourable comments on it and put it first.

When the list went up, the scholars raised an uproar. Then, reflecting that the lord was himself a famous Hanlin and could not but have true discernment in judging essays, and that Xia was a poor man with no avenue for chicanery at all — and yet had come top with inferior work — they could not account for it in the least.

Afterwards, when the lord had completed his term and entered the capital, he called on the minister to pay his respects. The minister was blank, and brooded over it a long while, and then suddenly laughed aloud: “You were mistaken. That day my wind happened to pass, and so I said those words. When did I ever give you any charge?”

The lord understood, and laughed too. The matter got out afterwards in Xi’an, and the scholars’ doubts were dissolved.

Ah — to hunt a degree by a passing of wind; though the learned world laughs at it, is it not still better than a page full of the stink of copper?

— The author’s comment (condensed): when the ancients named a child the meaning was always chosen with care. When the planet Venus entered his mother’s breast, Li was named Taibai; when Cui Wei prayed for a son, the boy was called Zilang; Gao Lin answered to the omen of a treasure, and Huan Wen to the cry he gave at his first test. I do not know why Master Xia, of all men, should have been given this objectionable name to serve as a later omen of luck. The Classic of Physiognomy says: the valley is rich, and the fortune of letters runs clear — so for a man destined for rank, this is the finest of all names.

Original classical Chinese text · 原文

临潼夏生,名器通,性鲁钝,学操举子业。每一艺出,群必哗笑之。 偶应童子试,剿袭旧文入邑庠。后赴岁试,自分必居劣等。遇卜者于市,占之,得一谶曰:“听之无声,视之无形。君子筮之,必得其名。”卜者举手贺曰:“君文必冠军。”夏生喜,扬言于众。众曰:“即学使两眼盲,触鼻亦知香臭。三等以下,君冠军或有冀也。”夏生大惭。 时学使某公,奉命督学西安,临行辞座师某尚书。尚书西安人,意其有心属士,极力请教。尚书下气偶泄,稍起座。某公疑有所嘱,急叩之。尚书曰:“无他,下气通耳!”某公唯唯,以为“夏器通”必座师心腹人,谨记之。 后公按临西安,果有夏生名器通者,扃试后,细阅其卷,词理纰缪,真堪捧腹。以座师谆嘱,不得已,强加评点,冠一军,案发,诸生大哗,继思某公本名翰林,阅文必有真鉴,夏生又贫士,绝无关节可通,乃以劣艺而高居优等,殊不解。 后公任满入都,告请某尚书。尚书茫然,俯思久之,忽大笑曰:“君误矣!是日下气偶泄,故作是言。仆何尝有所嘱也!”某公悟,亦大笑。后传其事于西安,诸生之疑乃解。噫!以泄气而猎功名,虽为士林所笑,不犹愈于满纸铜臭者哉? 铎曰:“古人命名,义各有取。长庚入怀,李名太白,翠微乞嗣,崔号缁郎。高琳应得宝之征,桓温叶试啼之谶。吾不知为夏生者,何独取此嫌名,以为后来吉兆耶!《相经》云:谷地丰,文运通。则功名中人,此为第一嘉名耳。”

From 《泄氣生員》, Xieduo juan 5. Translated in full, with the 鐸曰 comment condensed at the end. 生員 is a licentiate, one who has passed the county-level examination; 學使 is the provincial education commissioner; 座師 is the patron under whom an examiner once sat as a candidate; 關節 is the secret signal by which a candidate and an examiner recognise each other; 夏器通 and 下氣通 are exact homophones.

Source. From Xieduo (The Bell of Warning) (谐铎), by Shen Qifeng , c. 1790. The original text is in the public domain; this English rendering and the accompanying notes are original work.
Where this fits in the universe: The Underworld Examination · Reading the Fate: The Doom Is Fixed, the Address Is Not

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